Help! My parents suck!

In this episode, I discuss what it is like to be raised in a 4D and 3D human consciousness home by giving an example anyone can relate to.  I also provide guidance and 4D tools to view your parents from a higher vibrational perspective. Enjoy!

Transcript

Help my parents suck!

In this blog post and podcast episode, I wanted to bring clarity to everyone. In my youth, I would stop occasionally and think that my parents suck at parenting. When the drama was exploding in my divorced parent's separate households, I would find myself yelling to the world, "Help my parents suck!" Can you relate? Parents frequently confess that they don't want to be like their parents but follow the same irrational, rigid behaviors, actions, and beliefs. Most people cannot comprehend or understand WHY they do it, and today, I will explain why and much more. Today, I want to reveal to everyone which home you were raised in. It was either a 3D or 4D home environment. So, let's explore the differences.

I want everyone to imagine a little girl running through the house, laughing and playing with her toys. By accident—and I repeat, by accident—this fun-loving little girl bumps the coffee table, and mom's favorite vase filled with flowers falls onto the ground. Water, flowers, and glass scatter across the hardwood floor. The little girl becomes scared and starts to cry. Mother hears the glass shattering and enters the living room to see what happened.

Now, two things are going to happen. If 4D human-conscious parents are raising this little girl, her mother will be able to control her anger (150) and demanding prideful ego (175). She will regain her composure by aligning with the courage (200) to change and step out of the rigid 3D mindset. Next, she will become centered, grounded, and balanced (250) to calmly communicate with an open heart to her daughter. The mother will get down to eye-level communication and tell her daughter that accidents happen.

This approach is the next step (310), a willingness and hopefulness to soothe her crying daughter, who is afraid of upsetting Mommy and breaking her favorite vase. The mother will say I forgive you (350) and love you (500). The mother still accepts, instead of rejecting her daughter. Then, the mother will discuss why running in the house is a rule that should be respected and not broken. The mother will move up into understanding and reasoning, which vibrates at the frequency of 400. In the end, the mother will display unconditional love.

The mother might still ground the child or make them do chores to pay for a new vase, but she remains calm, loving, kind, compassionate, patient, and willing to model positive 4D human consciousness traits to her daughter. If you were raised in a home like that, you are lucky! This is the house I grew up in as a child, and many others can relate to it. I must give a trigger warning because, in some countries and states, spanking is now considered child abuse.

Plus, if I am to be completely transparent here, shaming a child from a 4D perspective is another form of child abuse. It is verbal, emotional, and mental abuse. It is all unintentional and unconscious because it is a learned behavior that was modeled at such a young age, but it is still abuse from a mental health perspective.

When I was a little girl and broke something of value, my parents could not calm down. They stayed in anger (150). They would move up into pride (175) if the item had sentimental value, but the words that came from their mouths were not kind, loving, compassionate, or forgiving. My body would immediately respond with fear (100) and anxiety. I was going to be spanked with a wooden spoon on my naked butt, and if I resisted the spanking, force and control were used to hold me down.

My parents would yell, making me regret (75) my choices and actions. As a child not having my frontal cortex brain fully developed, I took those unkind words personally. I did not have the coping skills of an adult. As a result of not having those adult coping skills, I took those angry words, emotions, and actions personally. I internalized it and spiraled down into despair (50) and guilt (30) and hit rock bottom into shame (20), especially if my parent started to shame me. The child will feel rejected and broken inside.

Can anyone relate? When this happens to a child, core wounds develop. The child will start to believe the following core wound statements.

• I am not good enough
• I am unworthy
• I am insignificant
• I am unlovable
• I am stupid
• I am incompetent
• I am a failure
• My opinion doesn't matter
• The world is not a safe place
• I deserve to be punished
• I deserve to suffer
• I will be safe if I become invisible
• I am a disappointment
• I am a burden

All these negative "I am" statements. Those core wounds become entangled with our inner critic, reminding us of our failures, disappointments, mistakes, and much more. It is a vicious cycle that tortures many people trapped within 3D human consciousness because all those core wound statements are false. You were just a child, not an adult. Yet, people do not talk about this stuff, but I do.

Now, I want everyone to realize that some parents appear to be adults physically but are still children within their minds—stuck in 3D human consciousness. An adult who matures and works on being a better person will begin to master the 4D skills and abilities. Our parents did not intentionally plan to suck at parenting. The day you were born was a day of celebration, love, joy, and bliss. Please do not forget this truth. Even if you were put up for adoption, that choice, and the keyword is choice, is because they knew you deserved more in life, and they could not provide it.

That choice was made out of love because everyone is a gift, and I mean everyone. I know this can be hard to comprehend (400). Still, even those nasty, mean-spirited individuals chose before entering this world to play their part as your teacher so you would hopefully learn about forgiveness, the importance of empathy, what is unconditional love, and much more.

Therefore, your parents did their best with the tools and information they acquired growing up. In my day, my parents did not know about human consciousness, nor did they attend parent classes or even go to counseling. People did not talk about their emotions; they just stuffed them down. So, count your blessings. You did not grow up in their generation, and as you know, I channel when I do these blog posts and podcasts, which led me to discover something incredibly, and I mean extremely disturbing, and it must stop! I was guided to look up when teachers were ordered to no longer hit or abuse children.

To my shock, in some states, the USA still allows it. It is called school corporal punishment, and within the blog post is a link to Wikipedia. When I told my husband, he was not surprised. So, if you live in Texas or  Florida, your child can be abused. This comes directly from Wikipedia, "As of 2024, corporal punishment is still legal in private schools in every U.S. state except Illinois, Iowa, Maryland, New Jersey, and New York, legal in public schools in 17 states, and practiced in 12 of the states." So, if you wonder why your parent sucks at parenting, it might have nothing to do with their parents but the abuse they endured in school for 18 years.

So everyone knows, I was about to record this podcast and was just informed to stop and type these words. If your child is struggling in school or just struggling in life, please see if, within your state or country, corporal punishment is still allowed. Some children will try to cope with the harsh school environment and not communicate with their parents about what is happening.

Why this request is being made is a person can get traumatized just by witnessing another person being abused. It is called indirect trauma. Connect and communicate with your child. Remember, a child's coping skills are not the same as that of an adult because their cortex brain does not fully develop until they are 25 years old. So, back to our main topic, help my parents suck.

That is why I say we should never parent the way we were parented, even myself. Because when I had the courage (200) to ask my parents about their lives growing up, I discovered that they tried to be better parents but still sucked. How and why? My parents never did the inner work on themselves before having children. They were wounded inside by their parents, religion, and attending catholic school, and it just got passed down from generation to generation.

Those unhealed wounds will negatively influence their ability to parent because they did not learn a different way to act, respond, and behave. So, acquiring this truth and information gave me more compassion, empathy, understanding, forgiveness, and love within my heart, mind, and emotions toward them. It allowed me to step outside the victim mentality and view my childhood from a different perspective, and that is what Master the Upper Rooms is all about - applying the tools within 4D to areas of our lives when we become triggered or stuck. I felt sorry for them and knew I was blessed that they did not put me in a private school.

So, if you have children or even family members, print out the FREE chart as a guide map. Refer to the chart to discover your vibrational setpoint when you are around people who know how to trigger you. What is their setpoint in 3D human consciousness, and what is yours? When you go within and think of this person that triggered you, explore and ask yourself questions. Is the tone of their voice demanding (175), arrogant, making you feel fear or anxiety (100), guilt (30), or shame and humiliation (20)? If so, distance yourself from this person.

They might be using those forceful tools to control or manipulate you. Remember, we can only control our emotions and thoughts. We can rise above it and redirect ourselves from that toxic and destructive situation. That is why setting healthy boundaries is essential. Boundaries keep us safe and reduce anxiety, stress, and unpleasant negative emotions within the 3D lower vibrations.

If your child is upset or angry (150), you can encourage them to view their situation differently. We do this by applying the tools within 4D human consciousness. Not everything is black and white. We can agree to disagree or accept (350) each other as perfectly imperfect. So, instead of looking at a problem as a problem to fix, view it as an opportunity to grow, learn, and set yourself free from the pain and suffering within the 3D mindset. Silence that inner critic and give yourself grace, compassion, and mercy.

So, if you have children or even family members, print out the FREE chart as a guide map. Refer to the chart to discover your vibrational setpoint when you are around people who know how to trigger you. What is their setpoint in 3D human consciousness, and what is yours? When you go within and think of this person that triggered you, explore and ask yourself questions. Is the tone of their voice demanding (175), arrogant, making you feel fear or anxiety (100), guilt (30), or shame and humiliation (20)? If so, distance yourself from this person.

They might be using those forceful tools to control or manipulate you. Remember, we can only control our emotions and thoughts. We can rise above it and redirect ourselves from that toxic and destructive situation. That is why setting healthy boundaries is essential. Boundaries keep us safe and reduce anxiety, stress, and unpleasant negative emotions within the 3D lower vibrations.

If your child is upset or angry (150), you can encourage them to view their situation differently. We do this by applying the tools within 4D human consciousness. Not everything is black and white. We can agree to disagree or accept (350) each other as perfectly imperfect. So, instead of looking at a problem as a problem to fix, view it as an opportunity to grow, learn, and set yourself free from the pain and suffering within the 3D mindset. Silence that inner critic and give yourself grace, compassion, and mercy.