How to let yourself off the hook with Liam Naden

 In this podcast episode, Liam Naden and I discuss his journey in life and how he discovered how to let himself off the hook and transform his life. Now, he works with people all over the globe to find their true purpose and calling. Enjoy!

Transcript

Hello, everyone. This is your host, Keri Logan at Master of the Upper Rooms. And today I have a special guest. My guest is Liam, and he is a pioneer coach who uniquely integrated cutting-edge neuroscience, psychology, and practical strategies to help people unlock their true potential, help them overcome their challenges, achieve their goals, and to live more of a balanced, deep, you know, purpose-driven life. So everyone, this is Liam. Nice to meet you, Liam. Hi, Kiri. Very nice to meet you too. Thanks for having me. Yes. Before we were having this lovely chat, I was thinking of how a lot of people kind of have steered away, let's say, from therapy or counseling and have geared more towards what you do. And I think in some people's minds, because you're an expert in minds, I think for a lot of people, taking that approach is a lot easier. Would you agree? Yeah, absolutely. And I think what's effective, you know, what isn't effective or what's becoming not really effective is this concept that if you have a problem, you have to focus on trying to fix the problem. Right. But as we both know, 

Whatever you focus on, you get more of. So if you're, say, in a relationship or you've got personal issues or financial or even trying to find your life purpose, if you continually focus on what's wrong, you're never going to fix it. All you're going to do is keep developing more problems. So my approach, rather than being the therapist approach focusing on the problems, is to focus really on the solutions. What is your underlying nature? What is it that is within you that actually has all the answers, that has all of the solutions, that actually is designed to make you live a really happy and fulfilling life. When you can tap into that and focus on using that, that's when your life changes. It's what happened for me, and I'm sure you'd agree, it's the answer, really. It is. And I love what you just shared because there is a big difference with coaching, right? 

And to me, the difference is you're in point A and you want to get to point B. Let me help you get there. Let me line it up. And what I've heard from a lot of people over the years, and you probably have heard the same, is they've done counseling, they've done therapy, and it was great, but it never really got to the root of what the issue was. really find the solutions that they wanted. It's like, oh, great talk. You know, you got a lot off your chest. I'll see you next week. And they leave empty handed. Yeah, well, that's right. And I think the biggest issue, or one of the biggest issues, really, is we've lost sight of who we actually are. And when we go into this mode of 

I have all these problems. I need to try and figure out what to do. I need to try and fix things. I need to try and get somewhere different from where I am right now. Whatever it is, we're really limiting ourselves. What I talk about with the brain is we're using a limited part of our brain that doesn't have higher awareness because who we actually are is this intelligence, if you like, that already has all the answers, that knows what to do. that can follow a natural path to us being the best that we can be if we simply allow it to happen. And spiritual, religious traditions and now science talk about this all the time, about being in the state where life unfolds naturally, you unfold naturally. That's the way it is in the rest of the physical, natural world we live in. We're the only ones who struggle. So we need to, I think, step back and become aware of that. We're a lot more than we think we are. 

We're a lot more than a problem-solving stress machine. And when we accept that, that's the place to start because then you start looking in the right direction for where the answers are. Now, that was an awesome response. Thank you. Because a lot of people do get fixated and stuck. It's kind of like they get on that hamster wheel and once they start getting the wheel spinning, they don't know how to stop. And they keep feeling like, well, what's wrong with me? And I'm broken. Or maybe I'm not good enough. Or maybe I'm, I hate to say this word, maybe I'm stupid. Some people, you know, I mean, they verbally beat themselves up. So with that said, you say setting goals is unnatural and sabotages your success. I want everyone to hear what you want to have to share about that. 

OK, well, I really came up with this understanding or awareness, if you like, about the futility of setting goals when I went from being a really success driven, high powered entrepreneur, wanted to be rich, wanted to be successful, wanted to have this amazing life. And I spent years, decades literally chasing after success, setting my goals, you know, and I had I've always been an entrepreneur. I've had 18 different businesses in my life. Not all at once. And I created success in my life business-wise. I became a multimillionaire. And I had all of these great things going on. And I was going to all the seminars. I was reading all the books on self-help, motivation, changing your beliefs, even spiritual and religious traditions and practices as well. I was doing all of these things. But instead of my life being full of success or full of happiness and fulfillment, it was actually the opposite. And I remember once... 

quite a few years ago now, i just put the finishing touches onto my on my dream home. i just finished building it. Well, actually, it wasn't quite finished. And part of it was a music room because i'd been a musician earlier in my life. And I always had this goal, this dream of having this amazing house with its own music room that i could play music in. And I remember one day going into this into my music room and sitting down and, you know, It was a beautiful sunny day and the house we built was incredible. It had view of the mountains and the sun was shining and all those good things. And I remember sitting down and thinking, I've done it. I've made it. I've achieved all my goals. I'm living the dream. I've achieved everything I wrote down that I wanted. I've got this amazing house with a music room. I've got a couple of businesses. I'm a multimillionaire. But why don't I feel good? 

Why am I so unhappy? Because I was not happy. I was absolutely stressed beyond belief. Felt like my life force was being drained out of me. I was so full of stress and problems in my life and things that weren't going well. And I remember saying, why can't I enjoy this? I've got it. This is crazy. I've got everything I thought I wanted. Why am I so miserable? And I said to myself, or maybe a higher voice said to me, maybe be better. if you lost everything you had, if it meant that you didn't lose your soul. Because as I say, that's what it felt like. I was losing my soul. And you know, we have to be careful what we think about because literally a few weeks later, I got what I thought about. I lost everything. The house went, the music room, my businesses, my marriage, all my money, it all collapsed. And I ended up having to move back in with my elderly mother and sleep on the sofa in the living room of her small apartment. I had nothing. 

So here I was, and this is really what got me thinking about goals, because I thought this is, you know, I was left with two questions. Firstly, why has this happened to me? Because I was a master on how to create success. I could quote all of the books, all of the gurus, you know, about how to, as I say, change your beliefs, be motivated, all of those things, NLP, you name it. But it wasn't on my goals list. to lose everything and be homeless. And so I thought, why has this happened to me? And the second question I had was, what do I do now? And both of those questions, why has this happened to me? And what do I do now? I used to spend my nights lying on the couch trying to find answers to these questions. And eventually I realized the answer was, I didn't know. And when I accepted that I didn't know why I was getting in my life what I was getting, 

Despite having the goals and despite, you know, having all the techniques on how to get to where I thought I wanted to be, when I accepted that I didn't really know how to do it, that's when everything changed. And that's when my life really turned around a completely different way. But the way it turned around was things started happening to me. So a business showed up from nowhere and I had no money. I had nothing. But a few months later, I had my own business again. And then a new relationship showed up, one far better than I'd ever had before. Then another business showed up. And before I knew it, I was doing things like buying a new yacht and sailing around Europe for eight years and traveling with my partner just wherever we wanted to go. Now we're living in a, as you know, living in a motor home, just traveling around wherever we feel like it. But the big difference, and this taught me about goals and why they don't work, 

is because, and I remember another instance, I was sitting, you know, you can imagine this. There you are on your own yacht and you wake up in the morning and you're in a beautiful bay in the Greek islands and there's no other boats around and the sun's shining and you just fall off the back of the boat and have a swim and you get out and you've had a quick look at your email and you've got two businesses running themselves without any problems, without any stress and overnight and you're managing them quite easily from this lifestyle on your yacht. How amazing. A, that is, but secondly, how amazing that feels because the feeling was completely different. I didn't feel stressed and I really felt for the first time or in contrast to my previous life, I really did feel that feeling that we're all after, that the reason we set goals in the first place is we want to feel good. We want to feel great. We want to feel we have a purpose in our life and that we're in control of our life. And that's how I felt. And I said to myself, how come? 

before when I chased after success and I set the goals and I worked really hard and I had all the plans and I really looked to improve my life, that I ended up with a whole lot of stress and problems and never really felt like I was on the right track and ended up losing everything anyway. Why is it that happened? And now life is going so well, it's like dominoes that are all falling into place all the time, but I don't have stress and problems anymore. and i'm not ch i'm not setting any goals. I'm not looking for opportunities. They're coming towards me. And I really thought, this is so completely different to anything i'd ever experienced and certainly ever heard of. And then i started to look into goals and realize that the reality is, and maybe you do this with your clients, it's certainly something i do, is when they come to me and say, right, how can i get my life sorted? Or I have this particular problem i want to work on where i'm not happy 

with the way my life is, one of the first things I say is, do you have any goals? And they say, yes, I've got my goals list. And these are the things I'm not happy about. And this is the picture of my life that I want it to look like. This is my visualization, if you like, or where I want to be. And then I say, well, if you set goals, be honest. What percentage of the goals that you set or that you have set have you ever achieved? Is it 100%? And they normally... shake their head and say, well, no, I haven't achieved 100% of the goals that I've set. I say, okay, well, is it 90? Is it 80? Is it 50? Is it 30? Is it 20? And you know what it gets down to? And I've heard this from other people as well, around about two to 3%. That is the, if we're truthful, accepted success rate of goal setting. Most of us, and we all think, well, I'm working towards my goals. I'm never really achieving them, or I'm only achieving a few of them. 

Everyone else is so successful. Everyone else is achieving their goals, but that's not the reality. We're actually using a model that doesn't really work. And I prove this to myself because I've been to so many goal-setting workshops and I had so many lists and all of these things. It's not the way it works. And the reason it's not the way it works is because of how we're set up biologically. Because we live in a natural world and we have natural laws that override everything. You can say to yourself, you can be standing on top of a 10-story building and you can convince yourself that you're going to step off and go up in the air. And you can pray, you can meditate, you can work on your subconscious mind, change your beliefs, be motivated, whatever it is. It doesn't matter what technique you use, you're going to fall down because the law of gravity, a natural law which determines how we operate in this natural environment, is 

That's going to override everything. And we actually have a natural law that's to do with success because we're actually biologically wired. Every living thing is biologically wired to strive to survive. Survival is the overwhelming purpose of all living things. And any biological scientists will tell you that's what everything is wired to do is to survive. But what gives everything the best chance for survival and therefore is its natural state is thriving. is being its best. When something is at its best, it has the greatest chance for survival. And when you have the greatest chance for survival, that is your biological purpose, is to be your best. And for us, this means our best physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. So how do goals fit into that? We're coming back to that. Well, one of the laws of success, so the way nature works to ensure that you have become biologically successful 

which most people aren't because most people aren't happy. Most people aren't saying they're being the best that they can be. But that's not the fault of nature. It's the fault that we're out of alignment with natural laws like the law of gravity. So one of the laws of nature that is designed to make sure that we're our best is, and this all operates through the brain, by the way, is the law of what I call maximum or sort of maximization of energy, efficiency of energy. So through millions of years, the human organism, every other living thing has evolved to be biologically efficient. In other words, to get the most result out of the minimum amount of physical energy. And that makes sense when you think about it, because imagine, you know, millions of years ago, we mightn't have been able to find any food for a week, but we still had to have the energy to search for food. So we developed this ability to really minimize the amount of effort we put in, 

conserve our energy so how does, you might think, well, how does this relate to goals? Well, here's the thing. What is the most biologically efficient way for you to live your best life? And you know, the way, as i mentioned earlier, I've done a lot of work on how the brain is really an instrument and a tool for leading us on the right path to make sure we do achieve our best. Stop making, you know, stop creating problems for ourselves in our life. So imagine, you know, when i was sitting on my mother's sofa, And I was totally confused, stressed. And imagine I had a process where I could say to my brain, show me what my goals should be. Show me what's going to make me really happy and fulfilled in my life. Show me what's my best, ideal state to be in. Now, if my brain had said to me then, imagine I found some process, okay, Liam, your ultimate goal, what's going to make you the best that you can be and really happy in your life, which is what you're after, which is what everyone's after, is you're going to be sailing on a yacht around the world 

for eight years. And then you're going to live in a motor home. You're going to be with this amazing partner and you're going to create a business where you share lots of new information about success and about how the brain works and about how we work biologically and how we step away from goal setting and all the struggle to operate and succeed naturally. And you're going to be sharing this information with people all over the world. You're going to meet this really amazing person called Kerry Logan and you're going to have this great conversation with her about all these things. Now, my brain had said that to me. I would have thought, this is absolutely insane. I wouldn't have entertained it for a moment, and for two reasons. One is, I didn't think that would have been possible. You know, lying on my mother's sofa with nothing and people chasing after me for money, it looked like the rest of my life was going to be paying off debt. I didn't think, and I also would have thought, sailing? What? A yacht? And Europe? And, you know, all these things. So... 

what would I have done? I would have questioned it. I would have doubted it. And the other thing I would have said, not only I didn't know that I could achieve any of these things, it's not even what I thought I wanted. I had no clue that that's what I would have wanted. I could have sat down and said all the things I wanted, but they wouldn't have been the right things. So that's why when you think about it, if you were to get the picture of what you really want in your life, what you really need in your life to be your best, If it's outside of your awareness or your current knowledge, you're going to question it. You're going to doubt it. You're going to resist it. And you're going to say, I don't know if that's what I want. Oh, no, I need to find out some more information before I do anything. So you don't do anything. In other words, you waste all that biological energy. It's not the most efficient way to get you there because you're going to be analyzing, questioning. You're not going to be doing what you need to do, what your brain wants to lead you to do to get to that place. 

So the other thing you might say is, OK, well, maybe your brain doesn't need to show you your ultimate goal. Maybe you just need to know the next 20 steps or the next 10 steps. So you find some process or some way of tapping into your inner intelligence and you come up with a list of the next 10 things you need to do. But what happens then? You look at it and you go, ah, well, hang on. I need to think about this. Step number three, is that really going to lead to step number four? I'm not sure. And I don't know how to do that anyway. I think I need to go and get some more information before I take step number one. And I need to find out, is this the right path? Is this going to work? How do I do this? What are you doing? You're wasting all that energy again. You're not making any progress. You're questioning, doubting, analyzing, wasting all that energy. So the way you're designed biologically, the most efficient way to get you to where you're supposed to be, to be your best on every level, is your brain only shows you the next step. In other words... 

Another way of expressing it is you live in the moment. And we hear about this all the time. Mindfulness, living in the present. This is biologically the most efficient way and most effective way and therefore the natural way for you to get to where you're supposed to be. So how does goals fit into any of that? It doesn't fit in. You don't need goals. All you need to do is take the next step. But you take it in such a way that you're confident and you know you have no fear. You're certain. because you know that's the way it works, you just keep taking the next step. You know, interestingly enough about this idea, it's also spiritual traditions teach this all the time. In the Bible, it says, do not worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Do not think about what you should eat, drink, or wear. It's all going to be given to you, as it is given to the rest of nature. Now, it doesn't say you need to sit down and figure out what you want and figure out how you're going to get 

what you should eat, drink, and wear. It says it's going to be provided for you. And it does it through this mechanism of your brain, which is biologically designed to ensure that you get everything you need to survive and thrive. So that's a long-winded answer about why goals don't work. But I mean, it just, to me, made logical sense from both a practical perspective in my own life and from a natural perspective. What do you think of that? No, I think it's beautiful because... we do put so much pressure and stress on ourselves. And we think that's what we should be doing, or that's the right thing because that's what our parents did, or that's what this other successful person did. And that's not your, that might not be your path. And it's really allowing. And that's to me, really the key word is allowing things to unfold naturally because we, 

What you wanted, let's say, two months ago doesn't align with you now. I mean, and that can happen. You know, you thought you might have wanted that back then, but then something better presented itself. And it is really true because so many people get fixated, let's say, on food or what I should wear. And it's almost like you're pretending to be someone that you're not. And what you were just describing is really connecting to your higher self, going within, listening, and following that guidance and see what unfolds instead of arguing it or fighting it or disagreeing with it. You're going with the natural flow of nature. And I think seriously having blind faith. that you were totally supported and carried every step of the way. And I loved how you shared your story because I think it speaks volumes to how you did have everything and you were miserable. And then you lost it all and you realized, you came to this realization that there is a lot more to life, a lot more to life. And truly there is, there is. 

And what you're doing now with your life, I admire it. I mean, I wish I could do that. I don't know if my cats would be happy, you know, traveling around. But you have a blessed life. And you went through a life experience that people can relate to. And people can really get it. Because so much... Of society and culture and family history, everything just tells us, no, this is who you should be. This is what you should do. And that doesn't allow you to find your authentic self or or go along with the flow of how the universe is all set up and constructed. So it was. I mean, yeah, I mean, we actually the funny thing is about believing in yourself or just allowing, you know, allowing. 

the consequence of allowing or what allows things is faith, is belief. But the problem is most people, when they talk about faith and believing, they don't really believe that what they have is hope. They hope something's going to work out. They don't really believe it will. And I think the reason they don't believe it will is they don't understand how it works. They don't understand this is the natural way of living because we actually operate almost exclusively on faith, but we don't get stressed about it and worry whether things are going to work out. We expect that our heart is going to keep beating, that we're going to keep breathing, that when we wake up tomorrow, the sun's going to come up out of the sky. And there are so many processes about us. We expect that if you cut your finger, do you sit there and say, I have a goal. I must make sure that I heal my finger. And you visualize it, and you stress out about it, and you look up on YouTube or try and find out what you need to do to heal your finger. 

No, you just know that the natural way things work, there is a natural intelligence that runs everything. It will heal your finger. You don't have to worry about it. You don't have to think about it. And it's the same with our life. That same intelligence that's designed to heal your finger and to keep you breathing is designed to make sure you thrive. But because we don't understand it, we don't know that it's actually at work. We don't trust it for the bigger things in our life. We don't trust and know that actually it knows exactly what you need to have in your life for you to have the greatest experience of your life and this is way beyond your thoughts this is way because that's another part of your brain which is very limited because if you sit down and try and think about what you think you need all you can base that on is what you've already experienced in your life so you think ah well maybe i i've heard somewhere i need to be a millionaire to be happy so that's what you focus on right but you're when you're connected properly to the way your brain works and the way you operate biologically and naturally 

This intelligence that everything is connected to, you become connected to that as well. And that leads you naturally. It'll bring the right people into your life. It'll get you making the right decisions. It'll get you seeing the right things. And it'll motivate you to do the right things and avoid doing the wrong things. That's going to make your life as good as it's supposed to be, the best that you can be. But when we struggle and when we doubt and when we try and figure things out and try and analyze them, question and listen to other people and doubt and all these things. They just get in the way of this natural intelligence flowing through you. And that's takes you out of natural rhythm. You know, another one of the laws of nature, which is so obvious, but we've all forgotten it, is the law of least resistance. Nature works on least resistance. The less the resistance, the faster you go. Try getting on a bicycle and going into the wind. It's a lot more of a struggle than if you just go with the wind and you watch a stream. The water just 

flows in the path of least resistance. That's what life is based on. And that's what our life is based on, the path of least resistance. Now, that doesn't mean you don't do anything. It means you do the easiest thing, the best thing. And if you trust the way your brain works and the way you operate naturally, when you tap into this intelligence, it's always the right thing. And it works out without you having to struggle. That's just, you know, struggle isn't natural. You don't find it in the biological world, except in rare instances, which aren't natural. Right. So I know we're getting close to time running out. OK, I'm going to create a blog post where people can find you with all your social media connections, all of that. But tell people right now before we go how they can find you, because I love everything that you are sharing. And I'm sure there's people out there that want to discover more about you. And I will put this on YouTube and all that great stuff. But how can people find you? Well, thank you. 

Well, it's just my name. My website is my name, LiamNaden.com. And I've got a lot of information there. I've also actually got a free mini course that I've just created called How to Unlock Your Rapid Solution Brain, which shows you how to take any problem that you're facing and see it differently. Get your brain to see it differently. And when you do that, the solutions come to you. It's like when you get those aha moments and you think, why didn't I think of that? That's the answer to this problem I've been struggling with. That's what I should do. So I've created a mini course which explains how this works on a biological level and what you can do to tap into this in a natural way. And this is all on my website, LiamNaden.com. Awesome. That's fabulous. I'm excited. I mean, everything you have to share is just beautiful. So I have thoroughly enjoyed connecting with you, Liam. And I know you do have a beautiful life and you're beautiful. 

traveling the world and doing just fantastic things. And I would love more people to achieve this sense of bliss and well-being and happiness and joy in life. And so what you're doing for people truly is a gift. So thank you. Thank you, Kerry. Can I just make one little point? Because people often when they say, Liam, you're so lucky you're traveling. I'd love to do that. And you've got this amazing life. Everybody's got an amazing life within them. But it's their amazing life. So I don't want anyone to say, I would like to do what you're doing. Imagine you doing what you want to do. For me, it's doing what I'm doing. And I'm really happy and blessed to be doing it. But everyone's got this dream life inside of them that their brain tapped into, connected to infinite intelligence. It knows what that looks like. Yes. But if you don't allow it to unfold in a natural way, that's the only reason you're going to stay stuck. Yeah. 

you know, everybody's, this is what we're biologically here for is to have a dream life. It's going to be different for all of us. And our job really is the only, is simply to get out of our own way and let our brain through infinite intelligence to put it, to make it happen. That's it. No, it's true. It's, I could, I could keep talking to you for a long, long time. I could. So have a fabulous day, Liam. And, and, I will, I'll put you in my slot to come back because I know there's so much more I want to talk about. Okay. Thank you. I'd love to. Thank you. Okay. Take care. You too. Bye.